Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'm Going To Hold A Yard Sale For Bill Sali!

The Hero of the Owyhees, Congressman Bill Sali, has offered a great way for all true Idaho Patriots to help his campaign to defeat Socialism and replace it with ideals of the John Birch Society -- yard sales.

That right -- if you're a Pro-Sali Patriot, you too can sell your personal possessions, and give the money to Bill Sali! Here's some of what Congressman Sali has to say:
"My family and I have always enjoyed holding and going to yard sales. We have found them to be a great way to meet new people in our community and a fun way to pick up odds and ends. (Sometimes we find an item that we actually need) My new program, Yard Sales for Sali, will give everyone who appreciates what I have done in Congress an opportunity to show their support - financially and in their community.
Why host a yard sale for my campaign? The answer is simple: if you support and believe in my record of principled leadership to help reign in government spending, lower taxes and promote a socially conservative agenda, I need your help. Through Yard Sales for Sali, families across the District can hold a yard sale and donate some or all of the proceeds to the Campaign. This will provide a way for every supporter to make an important and immensely valuable contribution to the campaign."

Just imagine what a great service you'd be doing for mankind (at least the Heterosexual Christian American portion of it, which is really all that matters) if you sold all your furniture to the Patriot down the street! And then you could buy it back when he holds a yard sale. And imagine how happy someone would be to buy your used litter box knowing that the money would be going to Bill Sali, Representative for All Idahoans and future President. Personally, I have a really nice antique computer (IBM PC Jr.) that I know some Patriotic home-schooled child would love to do his homework on. Plus, I've got a few old engagement rings that I just know this one neighborhood spinster would love to wear and show off to her friends.

Bill Sali doesn't say in his blog if we're allowed to take money from those who don't represent American Christian values -- such money might be tainted, after all. So I'll make sure that my "Hindus Stay Off The Grass And Out Of Congressional Prayers" sign is up next to all my Bill Sali for Congress gear that I'll get for free! I'll also go through all my old white clothes I used to wear when I lived up north as well to see if there's anything else I'd be willing to give up for the cause. Plus, I have a cat with some unfortunate bowel control problems that I'm sure some small child would really love. If anyone has any suggestions for other things I could sell, I'd love to hear them!

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