Saturday, May 17, 2008

Bill Sali Stands Up For The Constitution

It's been another busy week for Congressman Bill Sali and his one-man fight against socialism and jack-booted thugs from the ATF. First, he courageously pulled out of a debate on Idaho Public Television with "Republican" opponent Matt "Salisbury" Steak; Bill Sali knows that the Constitution doesn't say anything about public television, so the government shouldn't be funding it, and he certainly won't appear to endorse it as a Congressman. Besides, everyone knows that Bill Sali will easily beat Steak later this month, so what's even the point of having the debate -- it'll only prove that Sali is right about everything. Bill Sali knows that the elitists who watch IPTV are probably more interested in shows about "art" and "theater" and crap like that, so they're probably godless Socialists anyway.

The most important thing that Bill Sali did this week was to put a stop to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms from seizing the alcohol, tobacco, firearms, and bureaus of peace-loving citizens everywhere. Since 1995, the ATF has had a slogan of "Always Think Forfeiture", which Bill Sali knows means that the ATF is always going to take everything it sees from every patriotic American: “Americans have a right to keep and bear arms. We have a right to private property. But ATF, through its engraved motto, sends a message that these rights are secondary to the government’s apparent goal to 'always' seek forfeit of private property. Of course, we all want our law enforcement agencies to pursue and prosecute criminals fully. But I have a problem with a federal agency sending a message, even an unintended one, that law abiding citizens will apparently 'always' be treated the same as criminals.” Bill Sali knows that there's no such thing as a "grey" area -- there are exactly two sides to each question, and only effete elitists believe in things like "nuance" and mealy-mouthed phrases like "it depends on the situation". Salian Conservativism teaches that as long as you stick to your core principles, you'll always come up with the right answer, no matter what the so-called "facts" might be.

Bill Sali and his Patriotic Supporters know that the government is bad except when they're protecting our borders from foreigners and prescription drug reimportation and putting Ten Commandment statues up on public lands and stopping buttsex. I'm glad Bill Sali used his immense power to get the Government Thugs to give up their mission-engraved Leatherman tools. While Anti-Sali Socialists are already claiming that Bill Sali didn't personally get the ATF to stop using the slogan, it's important to note that Congressman Sali never claimed that he did; he only got them to stop distributing the engraved tools. That's the difference between Bill Sali and ordinary Congressmen -- when the story first started gaining traction, other Congresspeople went to the ATF and asked them to stop using the slogan completely; only Bill Sali had the vision to see that it was better to attack the symptom of the problem, rather than the root cause, just like doctors recommend. This proves that we need smart people like Bill Sali in Congress!

Late Breaking News! Congressman Sali is now demanding straight answers from the ATF! We'll see how important Congressman Sali really is when we see how long it takes the ATF to respond to him! I bet we'll see an update by tomorrow!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your posts must be in jest. Everyone knows Sali is about as far from truth, or doing something about anything as anyone could be. Obviously everyone knows that Sali put out a statement claiming responsibility for the ATF, which of course was 2 months behind the actual facts. The sad truth is that Sali is afraid to debate and it has nothing to do with the congress, or the constitution. He wasn't afraid to use the media when it suited him. It is unfortunate that people will take your blog as support for this career politician. I am guessing that nobody in the first district even knew that there was a debate, so maybe they'll see the truth at http://www.idahostatesman.com/idahopolitics/story/380683.html .

Anonymous said...

Thank you Bill Sali Fan for your righteous and courageous post.

As for what "anonymous" had to say, I think that was all in jest -- sort of a negative psychology to spur us regulars on. And if it wasn't in jest, let the weight of "anonymous" stand on its own. (BTW, "jest" is a four-letter word to Comgressman Sali -- just like "fear" and "[B]ATF").

Again, thank you for carrying the torch!

ReggieH said...

I agree with "anonymous" #1.

I finding it numbingly shocking that there is potentially more than one "regular" to this site. A site which appears to consist of only insane ramblings.

This part made me laugh: "First, he courageously pulled out of a debate on Idaho Public Television"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah, I'm sure it took a lot of "courage" for Sali to pull out of that debate. Good Lord! ROFLMFAO!!!

Republicans are such sheep.

Anonymous said...

Somehow I doubt that the Founding Fathers had the clairvoyance to predict the existence of television... so I don't think the absence of any mention of it in the Constitution necessitates that we stop funding it...